


We'll Always Have Paris

by dykeadellic



Category: The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Morgencest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-07-27
Packaged: 2020-07-21 08:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 567
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998808
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dykeadellic/pseuds/dykeadellic
Summary: He asks her where she wants to go next, and honestly she doesn’t care where they go. Nothing has a pull anymore. Jonathan is the center of her universe, and if he leaves she might just collapse into herself like a black hole.





	We'll Always Have Paris

**Author's Note:**

> Just a quick non-explicit Morgencest. Enjoy!

Clary sees Jace, angel wings extended, calling her from far away. She turns and sees her brother with his hand held out to her. It’s no question which one she takes.

It’s Paris for a long time. Even when they jump around they always come back to the city of love. The irony is not lost on Clary. She knows Jonathan loves her. She knows that Jonathan would die for her. And she knows she would do the same for him. But underneath the surface memories and feelings try to be heard. Clary can never quite hear them.

For awhile it’s Venice, with the gondolas and the amazing history. It’s beautiful and majestic, and the noise of the city is a steady hum. The smell is even better, as Clary loves the smell of the water that runs through the city. She thinks she could find peace here, but peace is wherever her brother is. So why isn’t she at ease?

The first time Jonathan kisses her it’s clumsy. He’s all teeth, but he’s trying so hard. Clary wants to be connected with him. She wants to feel like they are one instead of half a whole. She needs to sink into his bones and be made new again. But that doesn’t happen, so Clary just kisses him back, one hand cupping his face, teaching him how to kiss.

He asks her where she wants to go next, and honestly she doesn’t care where they go. Nothing has a pull anymore. Jonathan is the center of her universe, and if he leaves she might just collapse into herself like a black hole.

Jonathan asks her if she’s happy, and she isn’t sure how to answer. So she curls up in his lap and lets him play with her hair. Memories threaten to wash over her, but in an instant they’re gone. 

He asks her if she misses them, and Clary is confused. Who? It doesn’t feel like there’s been a life for her besides her own brother. Her own brother that she’s fucking. And she idly wonders if that should bother her. But Clary likes being as close to Jonathan as possible. He keeps her calm and centered. He’s the only real thing left in her life.

The days pass into months, and the months pass into years. When she sees Jace in Paris, she doesn’t even recognize him. Nor Alec or Izzy. She brushes past them, feelings constricting in her chest that she just can’t quite make out. Jonathan. She needs Jonathan.

They move to Spain this time, and Clary never leaves the apartment without Jonathan. But still they find her. They find her and Jace calls to her, but he looks so lost, not strong and sturdy like Jonathan is. Not calm and collected like Jonathan is.

“I don’t know you,” Clary says, turning her back on the group, feeling as though there’s a blank in her mind that she just can’t quite fill.

One day they stop looking for her, and it is safe to go outside again. It is safe to travel to Puerto Rico and sleep on the beaches holding her brother’s hand. It is nice to feel free.

Only Clary doesn’t feel free at all. She doesn’t know who she is without Jonathan. But isn’t that everyone in love? Clary doesn’t know. She doesn’t know anyone in the world but Jonathan.


End file.
